" Role Model"

More and More cases have been brought up about how children are being raised by their siblings rather then their parents. In most cases the parents are substance abusers and the siblings are old enough to be proper role models. On the other hand alot of government officals and physciatrists are concerned with that descion. Some feel as if it is a mere part of adolesence that they experience new things and have the descion to make between wrong and right but what if their descion is wrong and they too begin abusing alcohol, where does that leave the child? According to an article in BIO MEDICINE the percentage of children who are early substance abusers that have older siblings is alot higher then those who dont have older siblings. I agree and dont agree with this but if its shown more around the house hold its more likely that the children will feel oblidged to try " the new things".

Sweet Poison!

I am currently babysitting right now and something just occured that I found so disturbing that i had to publish a post! I am babysitting and we went to the corner store to get candy like we normally do everyday after they get off the bus stop. They had a big sign on the window today saying that they had a candy sale. When we walked it they had a huge box it had one pack of candy left in it. When i looked in I got so agrivated when i saw what type of candy they had almost sold out of. It was candy ciggarettes, not like the ones that we had when we were younger but they looked exactly like real cigarettes and the box they were in represented the same box of marbolro reds. When I asked the store manager why they were still selling these they said that its their most popular one and the children that recieves them are so young and he couldnt believe it! I know that we also had them around when we were young but as time got older they became much more realistic and if thats not promoting kids to smoke then what is? They are so for the truth commericals and everything but they still produce candy ciggarettes come on now!!!

I learned it from...

The average parent wants everything best for their child, correct? They want them to grow up and have everything they want. What they dont realize is, like how i posted in my older post that they do everything that their parents do , monkey see monkey do. Children are at high risk for substance abuse and well as viloent and domestic abuse and can become abusers because of what they and what they reanact. The video below basically explains everything that I've been wanting to get out there.

In 9 years ill be in AA

I came across this video on youtube today. It broke my heart. Its about a child at an AA meeting.. take a look..

Born into it

Most of the bloggs that i have posted have alot to do with what children see and hear and how it can effect them in the long run. What most people dont realize that some children dont have a choice. They are born into it! Children that are victims of fetal alcohol syndrome and drug addicts. If they do survive they have this long addiction that they cant overcome and most of them dont even survive!

Practice what you preach!!

I came upon a website this morning that realy raised my attention. The website was called : Family Guide ; keeping youth mentally healthy and drug free. If you have children or work with children this website would def. interest you. The article I read was called Practice What you Preach!

There was one passage written by a 12 year old it said :
"I'm 12 years old, and I'm supposed to be sleeping right now. It's late on a school night, and I'm scared about being home alone. My parents are out partying with friends. I hope they'll be home soon. I hear them come in since my room is right over the garage. Sometimes my mom peeks in at me, but I pretend I am fast asleep. I just don't want to smell her breath or deal with the way she is when she drinks. She's a different person and I hate it!"

Adults need to realize kids aren't stupid in fact they are smarter then we are! What kind of role model are you trying to be if you are acting like a teen yourself!?

More then 6 million kids live in a household with atleast one parent who is abuses alcohol and /or addicted to an illicit drug! About 10% of the children are under 5.

Another passage I found is a common mistake that parents do that they think they can out smart their children :

"My dad asked me if I smoked up today and gave me a lecture about it. I wanted to laugh in his face. I mean, who does he think he's fooling, acting all protective and concerned? Just last month, I watched him light up after dinner. And then there's that smell that comes from his bedroom door on Sunday afternoons; like I don't know what that is! Anyway, how can he come in here and tell me NOT to do something that I know he does?"

as well as this one :

" You tell your child that she should never get into a car with a driver who has had any alcohol. But when Grandma drives herself home from an office party after having several drinks, what is your child supposed to think? What if that person driving is you or another family member? The old saying, "Do as I say, not as I do," doesn't work if you really want your child to grow up healthy and drug free. Children often see and figure out more than adults realize."

How can you sit there and tell your kid not to do something if they are clearly aware of you or others close to them doing the exact same thing. They look up to you!! So do you want them to lie also? Also most parents or family members who do this have a guilty concience and they try to steer their children away from what the parent/family member themselves is doing wrong. " Oh i told him not to do it" etc.

When a parent has a substance abuse problem not only does it affect the child but it also affects your relationship with the child and their trust in you. Reasearch also shows ( the point im trying to prove) that : children of parents who abuse drugs are more at risk than their peers for delinquency, depression, poor school performance, and alcohol and drug use. Even though its not the only key factor but its something that parents have control over!

Also children who have parents who are addicted to alcohol or illegal drugs are 4x more likely to become addicted as well.

Fact of the matter is be open with your kids and be well aware of your actions and their surroundings. How can you expect them to stay away from drugs and alcohol if its done at home by their "heros" YOU.

YOU DID THIS TO ME!

Yesterday I was at an O.T office with a child that i babysitt for. After she went in I was in the sitting area and I over heard a conversation that was going on in the waiting room that I thought would be in intrest to the rest of you! A mother was on the phone speaking to another person and telling them about her 12 year old daughter ( who by the way was in the room as well ). She began shouting on the phone saying how shes convinced her 12 year old daughter is doing drugs and how she got expelled from school after being caught in the bathroom drinking with 3 other girls. The child you can tell was mortified because she knew everyone in the room an hear and the mother didnt care. She kept going on and on saying how shes never home and shes always at their neighbors house and she swears that shes pregnat and if she isnt shes going to be. What drew me to this conversation was that the daughter was sitting there holding her chain in her hand of a girl that looked just liked her, i assumed it was her twin and she just kept crying, the more she cried the more her mother spoke louder. When she hung up the phone she turned to the girl and began shouting at her and saying how disapointed she was in her and how she didnt bring her up that way and the next thing she said made my heart break. The mother began crying and shouting " IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU WHO DIED NOT LEXII YOU!" The girl turned white and jumped up and shouted YOU DID THIS TO ME, YOU CONSTANTLY COMPARE ME TO LEXI ! ITS NOT MY FAULT SHE HAD CANCER EVER SINCE SHE DIED YOU TURNED ME AWAY, YOU MADE ME DO THIS." Soon after that security came and both mother and daugther were escorted out but I just wanted to reach out to that little girl because she was right. A parent doesnt have to be doing drugs to influence a child to rely on the drugs but actions also hurt and so does silence. This little girl was faced with guilt and pain and frankly I feel like its her mother to blame!

I found my images on flickr.